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 A Bird's Last Message

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NightGale
Cafè Keeper
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NightGale


Posts : 267
Location : Lahore, Pakistan

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PostSubject: A Bird's Last Message   A Bird's Last Message I_icon_minitimeWed Jul 27, 2011 4:34 am

This is a poem that I just wrote, laying on the bed lol It's about a bird who's about to die because of an unknown disease. Without a further ado, here it is:

I opened my eyes,
To find myself in a cage,
I tried to remember,
But to no avail.

I looked around myself,
And saw nothing more,
Than my young master,
Crying besides my bed.

His tears falling down,
Forced me to get up,
To tell him to stop,
But could not do so.

I could not get up,
Let alone lift a muscle,
I tried to speak,
But felt endless pain.

I then remembered,
What had happened to me,
I was dying from a disease,
Whose cure unknown.


Decaying I laid,
Inside the cage,
Where I spent my life,
Blissfully with my master.

My sight now blurring,
I know it's time,
But before I went,
I wish I could've said good bye.
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Xiie
Cafè Keeper
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Xiie


Posts : 290
Location : Ponyville, Equestria

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PostSubject: Re: A Bird's Last Message   A Bird's Last Message I_icon_minitimeWed Jul 27, 2011 4:47 am

Like I said, it's soo touching. Sometimes, I imagine the boy had the disease while his father is crying in despair. Or vice-versa. XD
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NightGale
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NightGale


Posts : 267
Location : Lahore, Pakistan

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PostSubject: Re: A Bird's Last Message   A Bird's Last Message I_icon_minitimeWed Jul 27, 2011 4:49 am

Xiie wrote:
Like I said, it's soo touching. Sometimes, I imagine the boy had the disease while his father is crying in despair. Or vice-versa. XD

That could be an idea for a new poem Xiie.... nevertheless, I thank you for the compliment :D
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NotteEterna
Cafè Storyteller
Cafè Storyteller
NotteEterna


Posts : 230

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PostSubject: Re: A Bird's Last Message   A Bird's Last Message I_icon_minitimeWed Jul 27, 2011 4:52 am

T-T That is so...touching as Xiie said. I imagine some sort of servant lady, maybe a maid, with her male master whom are both in love being pained from her unfortunate demise...(not sure why it is actually a bird though...)
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NightGale
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NightGale


Posts : 267
Location : Lahore, Pakistan

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PostSubject: Re: A Bird's Last Message   A Bird's Last Message I_icon_minitimeWed Jul 27, 2011 6:09 am

Thanks Notte. And I didn't think that it would suit a scene that you described. Still, I wrote what I felt and thought. Thas' what I do :D But thanks for the comments gaise~
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NotteEterna
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NotteEterna


Posts : 230

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PostSubject: Re: A Bird's Last Message   A Bird's Last Message I_icon_minitimeSat Jul 30, 2011 11:17 pm

That's how poetry is written. with feelings. If that was what the intended scene was or not, i don't know...but, through metaphors, that is what i saw.
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Xiie
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Xiie


Posts : 290
Location : Ponyville, Equestria

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PostSubject: Re: A Bird's Last Message   A Bird's Last Message I_icon_minitimeSun Jul 31, 2011 3:24 am

Sometimes, I cannot understand the true meaning of each poems. Only when someone gives me a clue. >:
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NotteEterna
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NotteEterna


Posts : 230

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PostSubject: Re: A Bird's Last Message   A Bird's Last Message I_icon_minitimeSun Jul 31, 2011 3:29 am

The true meaning is that which rests within what the reader sees one could say. But the original meaning is what was felt by that whom wrote the poem.
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Xiie
Cafè Keeper
Cafè Keeper
Xiie


Posts : 290
Location : Ponyville, Equestria

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PostSubject: Re: A Bird's Last Message   A Bird's Last Message I_icon_minitimeSun Jul 31, 2011 3:40 am

I wonder how they can do stuff like that. O-o;
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NotteEterna
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Cafè Storyteller
NotteEterna


Posts : 230

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PostSubject: Re: A Bird's Last Message   A Bird's Last Message I_icon_minitimeSun Jul 31, 2011 5:12 am

Poems are emotional, that's why. :)


Also, Bas. The smiley team awards this with their praise:

:cheer: :clap: :cheer:
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NightGale
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NightGale


Posts : 267
Location : Lahore, Pakistan

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PostSubject: Re: A Bird's Last Message   A Bird's Last Message I_icon_minitimeSun Jul 31, 2011 10:13 am

Why, thank you Notte. I am honored :)
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NyanPrince210
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NyanPrince210


Posts : 112
Location : Outer space, helpin nyan cat defeatin veggies

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PostSubject: Re: A Bird's Last Message   A Bird's Last Message I_icon_minitimeWed Aug 03, 2011 11:39 am

Wow this is good poem! I love it!
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NightGale
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Cafè Keeper
NightGale


Posts : 267
Location : Lahore, Pakistan

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PostSubject: Re: A Bird's Last Message   A Bird's Last Message I_icon_minitimeThu Aug 04, 2011 2:31 pm

Thanks Prince =w= I wish I could write better though.....
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NyanPrince210
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NyanPrince210


Posts : 112
Location : Outer space, helpin nyan cat defeatin veggies

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PostSubject: Re: A Bird's Last Message   A Bird's Last Message I_icon_minitimeThu Aug 04, 2011 6:26 pm

What are you talkin about you write AWSOME!
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NightGale
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Cafè Keeper
NightGale


Posts : 267
Location : Lahore, Pakistan

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PostSubject: Re: A Bird's Last Message   A Bird's Last Message I_icon_minitimeFri Aug 05, 2011 5:29 pm

OwO Thanks I guess. I'm not feeling like posting my new poem ATM, but if it gets good feedback, then I will >:3
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PostSubject: Re: A Bird's Last Message   A Bird's Last Message I_icon_minitime

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